Reel Time Sign Off

To wrap up this blog, I'd thought I'd leave you with my ten favorite movies of all time. But like all top ten lists, it changes frequently, and it was difficult to pick only ten, so this might be an exercise in futility... I did my best. So, without further adieu, adieu readers and fellow bloggers, and here is the list:

Top Ten Movies (in no particular order...)

1. Brick
2. Little Miss Sunshine
3. Kill Bill Vol. 1
4. The Fountain
5. The Dark Knight
6. American Beauty
7. Amelie
8. Dogma
9. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
10. Garden State

Summer Preview, Vol. 3

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (July 15)

Besides being a fan of the book series, I think the film adaptations of Harry Potter are turning out to be well-done. David Yates (who directed the fifth and previous installment) doesn’t shy away from the dark material that begins to emerge in the later books, which almost fully removes Harry Potter from the realm of childrens' literature (and now films).

(500) Days of Summer (July 17)

This film is about a young man, Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who falls in loved with a girl named Summer (Zooey Deschanel). Unluckily for Tom, Summer believes true love doesn’t exist. This looks to be a good quirky indie, and Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel are two of my favorite actors.

Funny People (July 31)

After a series of successful comedies, writer/director Judd Apatow brings us this more serious (but hopefully not too serious) film about George Simmons, played by Adam Sandler, a famous standup comedian who discovers he has a deadly blood disorder and only about a year left to live. In an effort to live a more fulfilling life, George becomes the friend and mentor of novice comic Ira, played by Seth Rogen. It will be interesting if Apatow can branch out a little bit, which will hopefully bolster his over-used cast (minus Sandler, of course).

Inglorious Basterds (August 21)

Once upon a time in Nazi-occupied France, a group of Jewish-American soldiers know as “The Basterds” are assigned to brutally hunt down members of the Third Reich to inspire fear in Hitler’s Germany. Meanwhile, a girl whose family was murdered by Nazis learns German officials wish to screen a propaganda film at the theatre where she works, giving her and the Basterds the perfect opportunity for revenge. After being disappointed with Quentin Tarantino’s last film, Deathproof, I’m looking forward to this film. Nazis. Tarantino. Brad Pitt. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Summer Preview, Vol. 2

Away We Go (June 5)
This film follows expecting couple Burt and Verona (played by John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph) as they travel the country in search of the perfect place to start their family, but in the course of their journey, they realize ‘home’ can be defined in more than one way. I’m excited because it’s co-written by Dave Eggers (of McSweeny’s literary journal and A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius), whom I love with a word nerd’s passion, and directed by Sam Mendes (the genius behind American Beauty).

Moon (June 12)
A Sci-Fi thriller that focuses on Sam Bell, an astronaut working in isolation on the Moon to gather Helium 3, a gas with the key to solving the Earth’s energy crisis. 2 weeks shy of the end of his three-year service, Sam begins to hallucinate, and after a routine extraction goes awry, he begins to realize that making it back home might’ve not been in the plans. I like the actor playing Bell (Sam Rockwell of the excellent movie Choke), and Kevin Spacey is playing the voice of the Moon computer. Creepy. Awesomely creepy.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (June 24)
What’s summer without some blockbusters? I saw the first Transformers in theatres and was wowed by the visual effects. This one promises to be just as stunning, making it not one I would probably buy on DVD, but definitely worth seeing in theatres.

The Stoning of Soraya M. (June 26)
This film tells the tale of journalist Freidoune Sahebjam’s time spent stranded in an Iranian village, where he is told by a woman, Zahra, of her niece’s violent and tragic end. Soraya was falsely accused of adultery by her husband, and according to Iranian custom, was buried up to her waist in the desert and stoned to death. Zahra tells Sahebjam this in hopes the world will finally know Soraya’s story, and the stories of many women like her. Based on a true story and surely to be intense, but hopefully good.

Public Enemies (July 1)
Based on the notorious bank robber John Dillinger and the FBI war instigated to bring him to justice in the 1930s. Dillinger is seen as a charismatic folk hero to the public suffering through the Great Depression, but to FBI director J. Edgar Hoover, he’s a chance to assert authority over organized crime. He sends his top agents, led by Melvin Purvis, to bring Dillinger to justice through spectacular gunfights and prison breaks. With Dillinger played by Johnny Depp, Purvis by Christian Bale, and the whole thing directed by Michael Mann, this one promises to be entertaining.

More coming soon...

Summer Preview, Vol. 1

The school year is almost out, and you know what that means: lots of movie releases! Here are some of the movies on my radar for this summer:

Little Ashes (May 8)
This one follows young Salvidor Dali and his group of artist friends, filmmaker Luis Bunuel and poet Federico Garcia Lorca. It looks interesting… but mostly I just want to see Robert Pattinson in Dali’s trademark RIDICULOUS mustache (see picture).

Star Trek (May 8)
I am by no means a Trekie, but this one caught my eye for the sheer awesomeness of the effects and Sci-Fi grandeur. Plus, it has a surprisingly full cast- Eric Bana, Winona Ryder, Jennifer Morrison, plus Leonard Nimoy AND Zachary Quinto (Sylar from the Heroes TV show) as Spock. And Simon Pegg as Scotty. I’ll be making full use of my theatre’s digital IMAX for this one.

The Brothers Bloom (May 15)
The newest film from writer/director Rian Johnson (the guy behind Brick, one of my favorite movies of all time) focuses on two con-artist brothers, Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo, who decide to do one last job- taking eccentric heiress Rachel Weisz on a whirlwind adventure around the world. But will she come between the two brothers?

Up (May 29)
The newest animated venture from Pixar is about Carl Fredericksen, a grouchy old man who finally decides to take the adventure of a lifetime by tying thousands of balloons to his house and lifting it into the air. Too bad Russell, an eight-year old Boy Scout, was on the front porch when the house took off. I’m excited for this one, as I’ve been disappointed with some of Pixar’s latest releases (I didn't really like Wall-E. There, I said it!)

Pontypool (May 29)
Based on the book by Anthony Burgess (author of A Clockwork Orange), this horror film tracks the spread of a contagious virus through the Ontario town of Pontypool that causes victims to commit bizarre and violent acts. A radio host and others must figure out what caused the virus and how to not become victims themselves. I’m into this one because Burgess is penning the screenplay, and if Clockwork was any indication, this movie should be nothing if not... interesting.

More coming soon…

Finally, a Game Show Worth Watching

We’ve all had this experience: watching a game show and yelling at the television because you know the answer the poor contestant doesn’t. If you were on the show instead of your living room you could win the cash instead of watching some dope haw and hmm over the possibilities. In reality, few ever get such a chance, and even fewer win it all. But that’s just the chance Jamal Malik, an 18-year old from the slums of Mumbai, gets when he makes it to the last question on the Indian version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” in the film Slumdog Millionaire, released January 23, 2009.

But how can a dirt-poor orphan with no education succeed where so many other smarter and more talented people have failed? The game show authorities suspect Jamal of cheating, and have him arrested when the show wraps one night. Through the telling of his past, Jamal reveals how he knows the answers. He collected the knowledge while living in the Mumbai slums with his brother, Salim, and his childhood love, Latika. Over the years, after surviving a brutal riot that took his mother’s life when he was a child, the cruelty of child-labor bosses and gang leaders, the loss of his brother to the sway of power and money and his desperate search for the missing Latika, Jamal somehow learns the answers to every question. His story also reveals why Jamal got onto the show in the first place: not to become rich, but to use the money to run away with Latika, whom he finally reunites with after many years. But she’s the girlfriend of a very powerful crime lord, and will never be able to escape unless Jamal has enough money for them to get far away. Once Jamal proves his innocence, he is released to answer the final question for 20-million rupees and the real prize, the chance to finally be with Latika. But will he guess right?

I thought this movie was fantastic. I was excited to see it after learning it was directed by Danny Boyle (who was also behind Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Sunshine, three other great films), and I wasn’t disappointed. The movie captures the bright colors and textures of Mumbai so well you can almost taste it. The acting was superb, even from the younger cast members who played Jamal, Salim and Latika as children. Dev Patel does an outstanding job as the lovable and determined Jamal, and Madhur Mittal nails the despicable Salim. The music was wonderful as well, employing enough spice and innovation to not become just another Bollywood soundtrack.

Slumdog Millionaire is:

A) A great movie

B) Definitely worth seeing

C) Actually worthy of the many Oscars it won

D) One that shouldn’t be missed

I say all of the above.

Zombie Apocalypse: Who's For Dinner?

Dead people are a bit creepy. Dead people coming back from the dead is scary. Dead people coming back from the dead to feast on your flesh is absolutely terrifying. And from this terrifying idea, we get the staple of horror cinema, zombies. Here’s a rundown of some zombie movies worth checking out:

I am Legend, released in December 2007, follows Robert Neville (played by Will Smith) three years after a mysterious virus was accidentally released upon the world. While searching for a cure for cancer, American scientists accidentally created the virus, which killed most of the world’s population. Those that didn’t die were turned into creatures much like zombies (of the fast moving, more lethal variety). Robert is for some reason immune to the virus, and is the only uninfected person still living in New York City. He works to find a cure for the virus and struggles to survive on his own, especially after he finds a young woman and a boy who come to NYC after hearing his daily radio broadcast in hopes of finding other survivors. This film, while a bit predictable at times, was good. I especially enjoyed the little idiosyncrasies Neville develops after having no one but his trusty dog Samantha to talk to. Every few days he travels to the local video rental store, where he’s working through the DVD collection alphabetically, and has pretend conversations with mannequins he’s moved, dressed, and named himself. It also boasts some pretty creepy and suspenseful scenes involving Neville navigating abandoned buildings in search of zombies to run experiments on, where they like to hide in the dark.

Another good zombie apocalypse movie is 28 Days Later, released June 2003. Jim (played by Cillian Murphy) wakes up from a coma to discover the hospital and surrounding London to be completely deserted. He soon finds out why: 28 days earlier, primates carrying a virus that induces mind-numbing rage in all that come in contact with infected blood were released from a testing facility, turning much of the population into rage zombies (again of the fast-moving variety). Jim is quickly joined by a group of survivors who attempt to make their way to a military base in hopes of seeking help. But once they get to the base, they learn zombies were only a fraction of their problems when compared to the tyranny of the military officers. I really liked this one. It was truly eerie to watch Jim wander around the empty hospital and deserted London, attempting to figure out what had happened while he was asleep. The soundtrack is also surprisingly excellent.

Finally, Shaun of the Dead, released in April 2004, parodies the zombie apocalypse story through the average Shaun (played by Simon Pegg). Shaun is tired of his mediocre life and decides to start doing something about it by winning back his ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, this is also the day that people in London begin to turn into zombies. With the help of his best friend Ed (Nick Frost), Shaun gathers his ex, friends and parents together to fight the zombie onslaught (of the slower-moving, not so bright variety) in true British fashion: barricaded in a pub armed with a cricket bat. This movie was hilarious. It parodies all the staples of zombie legend. It also takes a stab at human nature, creating truly funny moments like when Shaun and Ed find a zombie woman in their backyard, and being oblivious, assume that her state is due to being extremely drunk, and not being the undead.

Side Note: I’ve always wondered… why is it movies always portray zombies as flesh-eating monsters? Isn't it enough that they come back from the dead? Do they have to eat people, too? What would make them want to do that? If I had just come back from the dead, I think I would want to relax a little. Maybe watch some TV. Play some cards. And then if I got hungry, maybe I would have some pizza. Brain pizza...

And in case there ever is a zombie apocalypse (let's hope they're the slow-moving kind), here's some tips from the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.

"Holy Bikini, Batman!"

Continuing on my slight obsession with superhero movies (and the realization that there are A LOT of them out there, and I’ve sadly, seen most of them), I present my personal list of what I think are the best and worst superhero films. Keep in mind that, like all young appreciators of cinema, my picks are handicapped by my age, and are therefore only from about the last ten years or so.

WORST

Elektra (2005): Daredevil was barely passable, but this was just ridiculous. If I want to see Jennifer Garner jump around in a pleather outfit, I’ll watch Alias re-runs.

Hulk (2003): Usually Ang Lee does some pretty good stuff, but this movie was awful. So awful that during the dramatic split-screen montage of the Hulk bounding through the desert (Hulk not like sand! ARGGGG) my brother and I laughed so hard we cried. I do not think Mr. Lee meant for this movie to be humorous.

Fantastic Four (2005): Some of the worst dialogue. Of all time. Also, Jessica Alba should stick to making commercials for foundation make-up, as this doesn’t require any facial expressions.

Hellboy (2004): Kudos to Ron Pearlman for becoming a decent demonic hero, but how is it possible that Guillermo del Toro, the same director who brought us the fantastic Pan’s Labyrinth, is responsible for this mediocre movie? You wouldn’t even think it was the same guy!

The Spirit (2008): I was really excited for this movie; Frank Miller, the genius behind the Sin City graphic novel series, as director! But even Samuel L. Jackson’s badassery as super villain and a sexy Eva Mendes couldn’t save this one. A great comic creator does not a great director make.

BEST

The Dark Knight (2008): You’re probably tired of hearing about it, but this is a great movie. Truly. Great cinematography, music, story and a stellar cast (and yes, that even includes Christian Bale). Heath Ledger’s Joker is the stuff screen legends are made of.

Iron Man (2008): This one surprised me. I went in expecting something

decent and wound up getting the awesome action, visual effects and power-punch sensibility people love going to the movies for. There is also about a 75% chance you will develop a crush on Robert Downy Jr. after

seeing his perfect-fit performance as Tony Stark.

X-Men Series (2000): This trilogy has set the standard for superhero movies in my opinion, and continues to do so (notwithstanding the supposed Magneto prequel release…reserving judgment?). They have everything a good comic book flick should, and the casting is spot-on; Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Famke Janssen, and Halle Berry look just like the characters I used to watch on Saturday morning cartoons. Hugh Jackman IS Wolverine. Period.

Sin City (2005): An all-star cast, film noir dark humor and spectacular visuals combine to make this one of the most interesting movies I’ve ever seen. The different storylines could have been disjointed, but they flowed to make some serious movie magic. Sequel? Yes, please!

V For Vendetta (2005): After being seriously disappointed with the follow-ups to the Matrix, the Wachowski Brothers definitely make up for it with this movie. And while I’ve heard the film is just a watered-down version of the graphic novel and got twisted into an anti-Bush political platform, when taken at face value, Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman’s performances still give me goose bumps every time.

HONORABLE MENTION

Batman (1966): I happened to catch this on TV in the wee hours of the morning once... and seldom has a movie made me laugh so much. While mostly I was entertained by the cheesy action bubbles that flash across the screen (BAM! KAPOW!) and the utter ridiculousness of Robin’s one-liners (which is where the title of this blog comes from… no joke, he actually says this as Batman flies the Batcopter over a rooftop with some sun-tanning babes), it was actually a pretty good movie.

Here is an example of just how ridiculous we’re talking: what do you do if you’re Batman and you’re attacked by a shark? Why, take care of it with Shark Repellant Bat Spray! Seriously. Go watch it.

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Ever since I saw 300 a couple of summers ago on the big screen, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the next film from visionary director Zack Snyder. I wasn’t disappointed with his new movie, Watchmen, which was released on March 6, 2009.

Set in an alternate reality of America in 1985 where Richard Nixon has just been elected for his third presidential term and the threat of nuclear war with the Soviet Union draws closer everyday, Watchmen starts with the brutal murder of a retired superhero, known as the Comedian (played by Jeffery Dean Morgan). While it’s played off by the authorities and public as simply unfortunate, another hero who never quite retired named Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) is convinced the Comedian’s death is part of a much larger conspiracy. He tries to convince the remaining Watchmen- Night Owl II (Patrick Wilson), a good guy disillusioned by the dark times; Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), a brilliant physicist transformed into a being of pure energy by a scientific experiment gone awry; Silk Spectre II (Malin Akerman), a young woman inducted into the world of heroes by following her mother’s crime-fighting footsteps; and Ozymandias (Matthew Goode), the smartest man in the world who exchanged his secret identity for slick corporate glory- to come out of hiding and fight once more. Soon the Watchmen realize that not only is Rorschach right, but that the conspiracy is bigger and more far-reaching than they ever could have imagined… and that one of their own might be behind it.

The first thing that needs to be said about this film is how visually stunning it is. I would have expected nothing less after seeing the innovations Snyder has brought to cinematography on his past works, but this movie still amazed me. The opening credit sequence is one of the best (and coolest) things I’ve ever seen in a film: a series of slow-motion snapshots of various happenings in the history of the Watchmen intertwined with important events in American culture, from the Kennedy assassination to the 1970 Kent State Shootings to the moon landing to Andy Warhol’s paintings, all set to Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-Changin’”. The rest of the soundtrack was just as stellar, including tracks from Janis Joplin, Simon and Garfunkel and Jimi Hendrix. But I could have done without My Chemical Romance’s cover of “Desolation Row” (Covering Dylan is like covering the Beatles… your version is never going to sounds as good as the original. So just don’t).

I was concerned that because Watchmen is based off a graphic novel of the same name (by the infamous Alan Moore…V for Vendetta, anyone?) that the movie would suffer like many page-to-screen adaptations. But overall, the movie flowed well, and I didn’t feel too confused once the story got going. Of course I wish the storyline could have been more in-depth in places, but for the massive amount of source material, Watchmen does a good job of bringing the graphic novel to life. The acting was also well done, with Jackie Earle Haley doing an excellent job as the psychotic Rorschach.

I really liked this movie. My only words of caution are that Watchmen definitely earns its R rating with plenty of blood and gore, violence and a few porno-like sex scenes. Plus, Dr. Manhattan has a penchant for going naked through most of the movie; apparently energy beings don’t have much use for clothing, but are a lot more anatomically correct than a Ken doll. I might be a little biased because I like superhero flicks (I love the mythology involved in the stories), but I think that anyone could enjoy this movie, especially since Watchmen offers interesting and well-developed characters and an intriguing storyline, things that you don’t always get when caped crusaders are involved.

"Why Are You Wearing That Stupid Man Suit?"

Continuing the theme of last week (still broke), I give you another cult classic. But instead of focusing on reviewing, I think this time I’m going to give you a little thought-provoking (thinking a little highly of myself, yes?) discussion. And there is no better movie to do that with than one of my all-time favorites, Donnie Darko.

Set in the painfully average town of Middlesex in 1988, this film centers around young Donnie Darko, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. Donnie is what you would call troubled, having been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic with a history of violence, although even he himself cannot articulate the strange things he experiences. One night a jet engine falls through the roof of the Darko house, and lands in Donnie’s bedroom. But because Donnie was sleepwalking on the front lawn, he wasn’t crushed by the engine. Instead, he is visited by Frank, a six-foot rabbit, who informs Donnie that the world will end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds. Frank continues to appear to Donnie, and suggests he commit devious acts, like breaking a water main at school and vandalizing the mascot, setting a local celebrity’s house on fire and stealing a gun from his parents’ closet. Meanwhile, Donnie befriends a new student at school, named Gretchen (played by Jena Malone), the only person who seems to understand him. Through his visions Donnie also sees things resembling physically manifestations of time travel, something he recognizes when reading a book on the subject by a local teacher, whom the neighborhood kids cruelly call Grandma Death. As the film progresses, and the 28 days tick away, it seems that it isn’t so much that Donnie is insane, but that the world around him is going mad.

After watching this film for the first time, I felt like my head was going to explode. This is a normal response, I think, because there are so many different layers to it. Is Donnie crazy, or is he really experiencing time travel in an alternate reality? Is Frank real? There is the argument that what happens in Middlesex does actually occur, and Donnie’s schizophrenia make him the only one sensitive enough to realize it. There is also the thought that Donnie is crazy, and that what he sees and does are not actually real. I fall somewhere in-between the two. There is definitely something odd happening in Middlesex, which the citizens realize at the end of the movie as if they’ve all woken up from a bad dream. But Donnie’s perspective cannot be trusted because he’s mentally unstable, and also because he doesn’t really question the validity of his visions. For instance, it’s more than a coincidence that Frank the rabbit looks just like Donnie’s sister’s boyfriend. Shouldn’t he have noticed that at some point? I think Donnie’s visions are a way for him to deal with the stress of his life in a way he can understand, and the movie can be seen as his thought process before he dies from the falling jet engine. What do you guys (those who have seen it) think?

If you haven’t seen it (or, what have you been doing with your life?!) I would suggest watching this movie with someone who has already seen it, or finding someone who’s seen it after you watch it. This is because you will have an almost uncontrollable urge to discuss it, and won’t be able to do much else until you do. It forces you to think way outside your comfort zone (at least for me… if you usually ponder metaphysical philosophy, more power to you), and you’ll probably have to watch it more than once to get all the details. I’ve seen it several times and I still realize something new every time I watch it. This, in my opinion, makes it a great movie, and one I would highly recommend to anyone.

A disheartening tidbit to end with: Apparently they’re making a sequel to Donnie Darko, called S. Darko, which is based on the adventures of Donnie's younger sister, Samantha. At first I was terribly excited. But then I read up on it and realized it’s going to suck like few sequels have sucked before: all of the actors are teenagers with little experience (Jackson Rathbone of Twilight? Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl? COULD THEY FIND NO ONE ELSE?), Richard Kelly, the director/writer of the original story, has nothing to do with the project, and oh, yeah… it’s going straight to video. Apparently humanity can create working hearts out plastic and put a man on the moon, but we can’t make movie sequels that aren’t complete crap.

"We Would Have Injected Vitamin C If Only They Had Made It Illegal!"

Because I’m a poor college student strapped for cash, this time I’ve chosen to not review a new release, but an older film. This time around is Trainspotting, a cult favorite I just saw for the first time.

This movie has almost nothing to do with trains, but has everything to do with drugs, particularly heroin. Lots and LOTS of heroin. Mark Renton, played by Ewan McGregor, is a young man with nothing better to do than shoot up with his junkie buddies. And when he’s not shooting up, he’s looking for the next fix, stealing televisions from retirement homes and cash from his parents to feed his habit. Renton captures the disenchantment of Generation X and his own feeling of purposeless:

“Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f*cking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage…Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, f*cked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?”

I should warn you… this movie is definitely not for the squeamish. Toilet diving for lost suppositories, the issue of constipation and then decidedly non-constipation, AIDS, death by cat feces, violent brawls, most certainly underage sex and the stealing of friends’ homemade pornography are just a few of the antics that Renton and his junkie buddies get themselves into. But the worst is when Renton is locked in his childhood bedroom by his parents after he accidentally overdoses and they force him to quit heroin cold turkey. He suffers a series of hallucinations, each more terrible than the next; his friends in jail, infected with HIV, and the dead baby of one of his junkie buddies crawling across the ceiling to slowly creak its head around Exorcist-style (Ahh!).

While I spent much of this film in slight shock or pulling my shirt over my head in disgust, I really enjoyed it. It’s strange that such a dark and prickly movie would end up giving me such a fuzzy feeling. Throughout the film Renton attempts to stay clean and off heroin, and although he missteps several times, by the end we are left with the feeling that he might have finally found his way. After it all, Renton does finally decide to choose a future, to choose life.

If you don’t mind excessive bad language, drug use and have a strong stomach, I would highly recommend this film. Ewan McGregor does and excellent job as Renton, as does the rest of the cast. Against the gritty background of Scotland, Renton and his junkie friends perfectly embody the disenchantment of his generation, a sentiment that still holds true for young people over ten years later.

And just for kicks, and because I was curious, here are some of the many street names associated with heroin.

[Insert Racial Slur Here]

There are many scary things in this world. African bees. Nuclear war. Tickle-Me Elmo. But these things pale in comparison to being confronted by a crotchety, angry Clint Eastwood armed with a rifle while you’re trespassing on his lawn.

Such is the situation that a local Asian gang finds themselves in after trying to steal Walt Kowalski’s, played by Eastwood, prized 1972 Gran Torino. Kowalski’s teenage neighbor, Thao, is pressured by the gang to hotwire the car as part of initiation. When he fails, the gang begins to harass Thao, pushing and shoving him and his family around in front of Kowalski’s house. Walt, a Korean War veteran with deep-seated prejudice against Asian people, intervenes mostly just to get the punks off his grass, but his courage makes him a hero to the local Asian community, much to his disgust. But despite his best efforts, Walt’s loneliness after the recent death of his wife and his growing disconnect from his own family gradually lead him to become close with Thao and his family. When the gang begins to harass Thao’s family more and more, Walt must decide how far is too far in a dangerous game of violent one-upsmanship.

If there was one thing that surprised me the most about Gran Torino, it was how humorous it was at some points. It was marketed as a very serious Clint Eastwood flick (like Mystic River: Sean Penn's daughter murdered… not so funny), but many of the scenes center around the odd, but hilarious, differences between Walt and his Asian neighbors, his family and the growing minority groups in the area. The biggest staple of this is race humor. In a world obsessed with political correctness, it was refreshing to see a more realistic portrayal of how people of different races relate to one another. While at times racial slurs were used with the intent to insult or hurt in the movie, most of the time they were used as terms of endearment between the characters. That might not be ‘correct’, but I found myself laughing out loud more than once.

Overall, this was a very good film. There were few missteps- some of the younger Asian actors lacked the chops for certain scenes, and I could really have done without Clint Eastwood singing during the end credits- but this is one I would definitely recommend. The writing, cinematography and acting are all top-notch. Clint Eastwood has once again proven himself to be one of the better directors in Hollywood, and certainly one of the greatest screen legends.

So Many Nazis, So Little Time...

What’s the deal with Nazi-themed movies lately? Much like the slow-motion wreck of sequel fever that has plagued theatres for the past few years (i.e. Step-Up 2: The Streets, otherwise known as new fodder for Guantanamo interrogations), trends often emerge among new film releases. The newest fad in Hollywood seems to be World War II era flicks a la the Third Reich.

The first is The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, released November 14th, 2008. What looks to be a tear-jerker of Nicholas Sparks proportions, the story focuses on little Bruno, whose Nazi officer father relocates the family to a nice country estate during World War II. That just happens to be next door to a concentration camp. Bruno soon befriends Leon, a young boy in striped pajamas. Bruno then learns that he cannot be friends with Leon because he is Jewish and awaiting execution on the other side of the prison camp fence. While it looks interesting, I’m not a fan of movies that seem engineered to make you cry, so I might not make the trip for this film.

Next up is The Reader, which was released January 9th, 2009. Kate Winslet and Ralph Fiennes star in this tale of an illicit affair between an older woman, Hanna (Winslet), and a younger man, Michael. The relationship lasts for several months, during which Michael indulges Hanna’s love of being read to, before ending suddenly when Hanna mysteriously disappears. Nearly a decade later, Michael (played by Fiennes) is a law student observing Nazi war crime trials, and is shocked to see Hanna on the stand for being a guard in a concentration camp. As the trial progresses, Michael realizes he holds information that could prove Hanna’s innocence, but is torn between saving her and revealing her secrets. So far Winslet has snapped up almost every acting award for her role, and the film is also nominated for Oscars in directing, cinematography, screenwriting and best picture of the year. This one is most certainly on my list.

Finally, Valkyrie, starring Tom Cruise, was released Christmas Day 2008. Cruise portrays Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, a Germany officer involved in a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler during World War II. Together with a network of other underground conspirators, Stauffenberg cooks up a plan to deliver a briefcase bomb to Hitler’s war room and bring about the end of the Nazi regime. Sounds interesting, right? Exciting? Not so much. Through too many characters to keep track of and a convoluted plot, the suspense that should have been present in such a dramatic story was lost. This movie is about trying to assassinate one of the world’s worst military dictators, responsible for some of the greatest atrocities ever known… and I dozed off in the middle. As a diehard movie fan, this is the ultimate seal of doom. While there were some aspects that were well done- the film was shot in the actual German bloc, creating excellent cinematography at times- not even bombs, Hitler and an eye-patch sporting (and mysteriously pirate-like) Tom Cruise were enough to keep me interested. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone except maybe experts on the subject, who might be able to keep everything straight, and certainly wouldn’t ask anyone to pay a steep seven dollars for the privilege of napping. For a more in-depth look at where Valkyrie floundered, I give you this pie chart snagged from New York Magazine Online covering how the whopping $100 million budget for the film was spent: