Finally, a Game Show Worth Watching

We’ve all had this experience: watching a game show and yelling at the television because you know the answer the poor contestant doesn’t. If you were on the show instead of your living room you could win the cash instead of watching some dope haw and hmm over the possibilities. In reality, few ever get such a chance, and even fewer win it all. But that’s just the chance Jamal Malik, an 18-year old from the slums of Mumbai, gets when he makes it to the last question on the Indian version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” in the film Slumdog Millionaire, released January 23, 2009.

But how can a dirt-poor orphan with no education succeed where so many other smarter and more talented people have failed? The game show authorities suspect Jamal of cheating, and have him arrested when the show wraps one night. Through the telling of his past, Jamal reveals how he knows the answers. He collected the knowledge while living in the Mumbai slums with his brother, Salim, and his childhood love, Latika. Over the years, after surviving a brutal riot that took his mother’s life when he was a child, the cruelty of child-labor bosses and gang leaders, the loss of his brother to the sway of power and money and his desperate search for the missing Latika, Jamal somehow learns the answers to every question. His story also reveals why Jamal got onto the show in the first place: not to become rich, but to use the money to run away with Latika, whom he finally reunites with after many years. But she’s the girlfriend of a very powerful crime lord, and will never be able to escape unless Jamal has enough money for them to get far away. Once Jamal proves his innocence, he is released to answer the final question for 20-million rupees and the real prize, the chance to finally be with Latika. But will he guess right?

I thought this movie was fantastic. I was excited to see it after learning it was directed by Danny Boyle (who was also behind Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Sunshine, three other great films), and I wasn’t disappointed. The movie captures the bright colors and textures of Mumbai so well you can almost taste it. The acting was superb, even from the younger cast members who played Jamal, Salim and Latika as children. Dev Patel does an outstanding job as the lovable and determined Jamal, and Madhur Mittal nails the despicable Salim. The music was wonderful as well, employing enough spice and innovation to not become just another Bollywood soundtrack.

Slumdog Millionaire is:

A) A great movie

B) Definitely worth seeing

C) Actually worthy of the many Oscars it won

D) One that shouldn’t be missed

I say all of the above.

Zombie Apocalypse: Who's For Dinner?

Dead people are a bit creepy. Dead people coming back from the dead is scary. Dead people coming back from the dead to feast on your flesh is absolutely terrifying. And from this terrifying idea, we get the staple of horror cinema, zombies. Here’s a rundown of some zombie movies worth checking out:

I am Legend, released in December 2007, follows Robert Neville (played by Will Smith) three years after a mysterious virus was accidentally released upon the world. While searching for a cure for cancer, American scientists accidentally created the virus, which killed most of the world’s population. Those that didn’t die were turned into creatures much like zombies (of the fast moving, more lethal variety). Robert is for some reason immune to the virus, and is the only uninfected person still living in New York City. He works to find a cure for the virus and struggles to survive on his own, especially after he finds a young woman and a boy who come to NYC after hearing his daily radio broadcast in hopes of finding other survivors. This film, while a bit predictable at times, was good. I especially enjoyed the little idiosyncrasies Neville develops after having no one but his trusty dog Samantha to talk to. Every few days he travels to the local video rental store, where he’s working through the DVD collection alphabetically, and has pretend conversations with mannequins he’s moved, dressed, and named himself. It also boasts some pretty creepy and suspenseful scenes involving Neville navigating abandoned buildings in search of zombies to run experiments on, where they like to hide in the dark.

Another good zombie apocalypse movie is 28 Days Later, released June 2003. Jim (played by Cillian Murphy) wakes up from a coma to discover the hospital and surrounding London to be completely deserted. He soon finds out why: 28 days earlier, primates carrying a virus that induces mind-numbing rage in all that come in contact with infected blood were released from a testing facility, turning much of the population into rage zombies (again of the fast-moving variety). Jim is quickly joined by a group of survivors who attempt to make their way to a military base in hopes of seeking help. But once they get to the base, they learn zombies were only a fraction of their problems when compared to the tyranny of the military officers. I really liked this one. It was truly eerie to watch Jim wander around the empty hospital and deserted London, attempting to figure out what had happened while he was asleep. The soundtrack is also surprisingly excellent.

Finally, Shaun of the Dead, released in April 2004, parodies the zombie apocalypse story through the average Shaun (played by Simon Pegg). Shaun is tired of his mediocre life and decides to start doing something about it by winning back his ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, this is also the day that people in London begin to turn into zombies. With the help of his best friend Ed (Nick Frost), Shaun gathers his ex, friends and parents together to fight the zombie onslaught (of the slower-moving, not so bright variety) in true British fashion: barricaded in a pub armed with a cricket bat. This movie was hilarious. It parodies all the staples of zombie legend. It also takes a stab at human nature, creating truly funny moments like when Shaun and Ed find a zombie woman in their backyard, and being oblivious, assume that her state is due to being extremely drunk, and not being the undead.

Side Note: I’ve always wondered… why is it movies always portray zombies as flesh-eating monsters? Isn't it enough that they come back from the dead? Do they have to eat people, too? What would make them want to do that? If I had just come back from the dead, I think I would want to relax a little. Maybe watch some TV. Play some cards. And then if I got hungry, maybe I would have some pizza. Brain pizza...

And in case there ever is a zombie apocalypse (let's hope they're the slow-moving kind), here's some tips from the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.

"Holy Bikini, Batman!"

Continuing on my slight obsession with superhero movies (and the realization that there are A LOT of them out there, and I’ve sadly, seen most of them), I present my personal list of what I think are the best and worst superhero films. Keep in mind that, like all young appreciators of cinema, my picks are handicapped by my age, and are therefore only from about the last ten years or so.

WORST

Elektra (2005): Daredevil was barely passable, but this was just ridiculous. If I want to see Jennifer Garner jump around in a pleather outfit, I’ll watch Alias re-runs.

Hulk (2003): Usually Ang Lee does some pretty good stuff, but this movie was awful. So awful that during the dramatic split-screen montage of the Hulk bounding through the desert (Hulk not like sand! ARGGGG) my brother and I laughed so hard we cried. I do not think Mr. Lee meant for this movie to be humorous.

Fantastic Four (2005): Some of the worst dialogue. Of all time. Also, Jessica Alba should stick to making commercials for foundation make-up, as this doesn’t require any facial expressions.

Hellboy (2004): Kudos to Ron Pearlman for becoming a decent demonic hero, but how is it possible that Guillermo del Toro, the same director who brought us the fantastic Pan’s Labyrinth, is responsible for this mediocre movie? You wouldn’t even think it was the same guy!

The Spirit (2008): I was really excited for this movie; Frank Miller, the genius behind the Sin City graphic novel series, as director! But even Samuel L. Jackson’s badassery as super villain and a sexy Eva Mendes couldn’t save this one. A great comic creator does not a great director make.

BEST

The Dark Knight (2008): You’re probably tired of hearing about it, but this is a great movie. Truly. Great cinematography, music, story and a stellar cast (and yes, that even includes Christian Bale). Heath Ledger’s Joker is the stuff screen legends are made of.

Iron Man (2008): This one surprised me. I went in expecting something

decent and wound up getting the awesome action, visual effects and power-punch sensibility people love going to the movies for. There is also about a 75% chance you will develop a crush on Robert Downy Jr. after

seeing his perfect-fit performance as Tony Stark.

X-Men Series (2000): This trilogy has set the standard for superhero movies in my opinion, and continues to do so (notwithstanding the supposed Magneto prequel release…reserving judgment?). They have everything a good comic book flick should, and the casting is spot-on; Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Famke Janssen, and Halle Berry look just like the characters I used to watch on Saturday morning cartoons. Hugh Jackman IS Wolverine. Period.

Sin City (2005): An all-star cast, film noir dark humor and spectacular visuals combine to make this one of the most interesting movies I’ve ever seen. The different storylines could have been disjointed, but they flowed to make some serious movie magic. Sequel? Yes, please!

V For Vendetta (2005): After being seriously disappointed with the follow-ups to the Matrix, the Wachowski Brothers definitely make up for it with this movie. And while I’ve heard the film is just a watered-down version of the graphic novel and got twisted into an anti-Bush political platform, when taken at face value, Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman’s performances still give me goose bumps every time.

HONORABLE MENTION

Batman (1966): I happened to catch this on TV in the wee hours of the morning once... and seldom has a movie made me laugh so much. While mostly I was entertained by the cheesy action bubbles that flash across the screen (BAM! KAPOW!) and the utter ridiculousness of Robin’s one-liners (which is where the title of this blog comes from… no joke, he actually says this as Batman flies the Batcopter over a rooftop with some sun-tanning babes), it was actually a pretty good movie.

Here is an example of just how ridiculous we’re talking: what do you do if you’re Batman and you’re attacked by a shark? Why, take care of it with Shark Repellant Bat Spray! Seriously. Go watch it.

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Ever since I saw 300 a couple of summers ago on the big screen, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the next film from visionary director Zack Snyder. I wasn’t disappointed with his new movie, Watchmen, which was released on March 6, 2009.

Set in an alternate reality of America in 1985 where Richard Nixon has just been elected for his third presidential term and the threat of nuclear war with the Soviet Union draws closer everyday, Watchmen starts with the brutal murder of a retired superhero, known as the Comedian (played by Jeffery Dean Morgan). While it’s played off by the authorities and public as simply unfortunate, another hero who never quite retired named Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) is convinced the Comedian’s death is part of a much larger conspiracy. He tries to convince the remaining Watchmen- Night Owl II (Patrick Wilson), a good guy disillusioned by the dark times; Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), a brilliant physicist transformed into a being of pure energy by a scientific experiment gone awry; Silk Spectre II (Malin Akerman), a young woman inducted into the world of heroes by following her mother’s crime-fighting footsteps; and Ozymandias (Matthew Goode), the smartest man in the world who exchanged his secret identity for slick corporate glory- to come out of hiding and fight once more. Soon the Watchmen realize that not only is Rorschach right, but that the conspiracy is bigger and more far-reaching than they ever could have imagined… and that one of their own might be behind it.

The first thing that needs to be said about this film is how visually stunning it is. I would have expected nothing less after seeing the innovations Snyder has brought to cinematography on his past works, but this movie still amazed me. The opening credit sequence is one of the best (and coolest) things I’ve ever seen in a film: a series of slow-motion snapshots of various happenings in the history of the Watchmen intertwined with important events in American culture, from the Kennedy assassination to the 1970 Kent State Shootings to the moon landing to Andy Warhol’s paintings, all set to Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-Changin’”. The rest of the soundtrack was just as stellar, including tracks from Janis Joplin, Simon and Garfunkel and Jimi Hendrix. But I could have done without My Chemical Romance’s cover of “Desolation Row” (Covering Dylan is like covering the Beatles… your version is never going to sounds as good as the original. So just don’t).

I was concerned that because Watchmen is based off a graphic novel of the same name (by the infamous Alan Moore…V for Vendetta, anyone?) that the movie would suffer like many page-to-screen adaptations. But overall, the movie flowed well, and I didn’t feel too confused once the story got going. Of course I wish the storyline could have been more in-depth in places, but for the massive amount of source material, Watchmen does a good job of bringing the graphic novel to life. The acting was also well done, with Jackie Earle Haley doing an excellent job as the psychotic Rorschach.

I really liked this movie. My only words of caution are that Watchmen definitely earns its R rating with plenty of blood and gore, violence and a few porno-like sex scenes. Plus, Dr. Manhattan has a penchant for going naked through most of the movie; apparently energy beings don’t have much use for clothing, but are a lot more anatomically correct than a Ken doll. I might be a little biased because I like superhero flicks (I love the mythology involved in the stories), but I think that anyone could enjoy this movie, especially since Watchmen offers interesting and well-developed characters and an intriguing storyline, things that you don’t always get when caped crusaders are involved.